Dear Diary,
Apologies for my complete lack of posts, I have been relatively useless when it comes to blogging these past few weeks and the guilt is starting to overcome me completely. Settling into a new place, a new city and a new circle of people has been really difficult. I think I perhaps underestimated quite how difficult I’d actually find it. Everything is completely alien and day to day life begins to feel almost surreal as your ‘familiar things’ are stripped away from you. I know that sounds rather dramatic, but I won’t lie and say it’s been a breeze. It’s been really really difficult and it still is. Perhaps I’m more prone to homesickness because I’m a real homebody, I don’t know. But I do know that I’m not the only one feeling this way, which is reassuring.
Usually my ‘dear diary’ segments are filled with quirky little anecdotes that living on your own, or the fear of being independent has brought about but I’m afraid today’s is a rather sombre entry in comparison ha ha. In addition to starting my life in a new place, turning over a new leaf and settling in, I have unfortunately been going through a break up as well. I won’t go into details, I know I share lots of my life on my blog but I feel that some things are best kept private. I feel like my life is changing so much, right before my eyes and I’m a little overwhelmed, but hopefully once I settle into my course – things will change.
I feel proud (well, sort of) that I have so far managed to do two loads of washing (albeit in the sink, but hey – it’s a start), cooked for myself (there have been a few dodgy dishes but no food poisoning – yet) and even signed up to the gym (yes really, am I going mad?!). I’ve met some really lovely people, visited the local town and there have even been a few moments where I’ve sat back and thought ‘hey, I might actually be okay here’. As overwhelming as it all is, and maybe I’m finding it harder than some, I think you have to push through and try and be positive.
Admittedly I have succumbed already and jumped on the train back home. I had a few days off for freshers and with lots of personal issues swarming inside my head, I just needed to be back with my family and have a little bit of familiarity. I did feel as though I was missing out and weirdly, was quite excited to be back once the train started approaching but there’s no point suffering if home is only a few hours away.
So all in all, I’m sorry for the rather stilted and moody entry. I’m normally quite a chirpy person and I’m normally on my blog 24/7, but I hope you understand (and I’m sure some of you are going through the same things too). Hopefully, my blogging will kick back off again and I can start to build up a routine. I had my very first session today (in Shorthand nonetheless) and am now off to the gym for a spinning class. Am I feeling okay?
Love Scarlett x
PS: I’d love to hear what your first few at uni were like and if you were quite as homesick (and how you dealt with it) as I was – or even if you are facing the same challenges now. Or maybe you’re absolutely LOVING uni and would like to share your experience. It would be great to have your opinion!
