I’ve always been very hard on myself and for so long, I thought this was a positive attribute of mine. I believed that by not celebrating my successes and instead, pushing harder for more, I would motivate myself to achieve and be a better person. Tough love, as they say, is sometimes needed. However recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that while a little self-assessment is necessary, being consistently self-critical is actually counter-productive.
It was a session with a therapist that opened my eyes to just how self-critical I actually am.
“Don’t you think you deserve some kindness?,” I was asked.
“Do you stop to celebrate your achievements and successes?”
“Or do you just pick up on the negatives and what could have gone better?”
Well, yes that’s exactly me, in a nutshell. I value kindness as a quality in other people and I make it my mission to be as kind as I can to others, but when it comes to being kind to myself, I just don’t offer it up as freely as I should.
I love championing other women, but do I champion myself?
Probably not as much as I should.
Us women, we’re at a bit of a loss when it comes to self-appreciation, especially where society is concerned. Any compliment we give to ourselves can be seen as vain, narcissistic or boastful. Of course, they’re not! But we have an innate sense that we should deflect compliments and be hard on ourselves. Even if we’re confident internally, we don’t always project that. And personally, I see there’s an issue with that.
So today, I wanted to explore the idea of being your very own Wonder Woman and championing the qualities that make you amazing! Coinciding with the release of the brand new Wonder Woman film next month, Wilkinson Sword have teamed up with the Hollywood blockbuster to offer a range of limited edition lipsticks showcasing the four sides to every fabulous ladies personality, that we totally should celebrate!
“She believed she could and so she did.”
As simple a quote as it is, I absolutely love the above because it reminds me in an instance just how important self-belief really is. Your mindset really does have a massive impact on your life and by believing you can do something, be somebody or achieve something, you’re already halfway there.
As mentioned on my YouTube and my blog, I recently completed a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which focuses on the mindset and how we choose to perceive, react and control feelings. One of the best ways of describing the ethos behind it is that “feelings are like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.”
We can’t help work having crazy busy periods, we can’t control the future, we can’t force others to believe in us. But we can control how we react to these things. And we can believe in ourselves.
We can worry about potentially failing, about something going wrong or others not investing in our own passions.
Or we can fuel our own self-belief.
“I’ve seen over and over how much self-belief drives outcomes. And that’s why I force myself to sit at the table, even when I am not sure I belong there. And when I’m not sure anyone wants my opinion, I take a deep breath and speak up anyway.” – Sheryl Sandberg.
“Her intuition was her favourite superpower!”
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Often we’re conditioned to believe that taking care of our appearances, automatically assumes that we’re narcissistic or obsessed with the way that we look. Or goodness forbid, that we’re trying to impress another person. When in actuality, many of us just love the confidence that a new LBD, a sassy lip shade or a fabulous mascara can give us. Feeling good and looking good don’t need to be frowned upon, because they are a huge part of being your own Wonder Woman and completely owning what you love! One lovely lady who I think champions this marvellously is Imogen Hudson, whose YouTube channel has completely taken off – and yet she’s still totally down to earth and has an incredibly fabulous ethos. She makes no bones about the fact she loves dressing up to feel sexy – and yet it’s entirely for her confidence and for her love of expressing herself!
This topic is why I love the new Wilkinson Sword and Wonder Woman collaboration, because they are celebrating the fabulous things that make us, us! In stores now, they are offering one of their limited-edition lipsticks free with any purchase of a Wilkinson Sword system handle. Designed to compliment every skin-tone, the four shades provide an intense pop of colour and a long-lasting, luxuriously soft matte finish. Containing the highest amount of Shea Butter possible within a lipstick formulation, they are super nourishing, vitamin enriched and stay gorgeously silky, even if you’ve got a jam packed day ahead.
Shade wise, the four colours are each named after the incredible qualities all Wonder Women possess, reminding us to celebrate them as much as humanly (or super-humanly) possible. For the perfect mix of neutral and ‘statement shade’, opt for ‘Wonder’ which is a beautiful pink-beige lipstick, perfect for the Spring/Summer months!
For something more feminine and girly, choose ‘Grace’, a stunning soft coral lipstick which subtly compliments every make-up look and is a must-have staple in every woman’s make-up bag.
Who runs the world? Girls! And they do so wearing red lipstick. I don’t know about you but there’s something about a bold red lip that completely empowers me and I just feel like I’m ready to take on the day ahead. It might sound silly but the make-up you choose to wear really can boost your mood and I’m pretty sure the striking shade ‘Power’, will help do so! It’s actually the shade I’m wearing in these pictures and while I may have a few red’s tucked away in my drawer, it reminded me how striking it really can be!
And finally, every super-heroine is full of Wisdom, something again – we should remember to celebrate. Showcase yours with a striking, deep merlot lipstick which adds a touch of sultry sexiness to your look. Whether you choose to team it with evening attire or an all-black outfit, it’s guaranteed to accentuate your best features and leave you feeling ready to champion yourself!
Every Wonder Woman needs a pamper session and whether that’s a weekend in the spa with girlfriends or an evening at home where you light the candles, put on some Ellie Goulding and paint your nails, it’s totally your call.
For me, I love to treat myself to my pamper routine once every fortnight.
This usually involves lighting a few candles, making a massive cup of tea, running a bath, painting my nails, popping on a hair mask and shaving my legs.
Because as much as shaving your legs can feel like a right pain when you’re running late for work and having to quickly do them in the shower, if you weave it in with your pamper routine, it can feel a lot more relaxing.
Plus, there’s nothing nicer than the feeling of stepping into a fluffy robe with silky, soft and smooth legs!
You know, the kind of feeling where you want everyone else in the immediate proximity to stroke your legs too, out of pure appreciation!
My Wilkinson Sword Intuition Ultra Moisture has been a go-to of mine for the past year, primarily because it’s so convenient to use.
The tool itself fits perfectly into the palm of your hand and is slightly bigger than your average razor, which I love as it means there’s no fiddling around and uncomfortably maneuvering it round the hard to reach areas.
It lathers and shaves in one simple step, without the need for gel – and the Sensitive Care version caters for more irritated skin types with added vitamin B5 plus Aloe & Vitamin E.
Those clever people at Wilkinson Sword really have thought of everything!
Champion other women
Sure, receiving a compliment is lovely. It can feel really great and put you in a good mood for the rest of the day. But complimenting others and championing other women feels even better. Giving out genuine compliments is such a positive boost and it puts you in the right mindset to champion yourself too. Being your own Wonder Woman doesn’t mean that there aren’t millions of other Wonder Women out there too.
Often society, the media in particular, pit women against one another. In order for one to succeed, another must fail. Take the headlines for example. POPSTAR is the new Beyonce. Pippa’s Wedding Upstages Kate’s. Harry’s ex sizzles on the beach as new girlfriend faces backlash. Why should we always be at the point of comparison?
No two Wonder Women are the same – loving ourselves isn’t about hating others. Wonder Women build one another up, they don’t tear each other down.
Admittedly, it’s easy to sometimes look at another woman who is in a more successful position than you, from the outset she looks like she has life figured out and she has a healthy, enviable body. Envy might be the first feeling that springs to mind. Maybe we compare ourselves to her a little too much. We focus on all her positives and juxtapose them with our negatives. And we feel a negative emotion. It’s human nature to compare, but we are in control of how we react and how we move forward.
“Blowing out someone’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.”
When women champion one another, incredible things happen!
Let someone know if you think they’re doing a great job with their blog, send words of positivity to those you admire and throw kindness around like confetti. Because you never know when a fellow Wonder Woman might need it.
“Admire beauty, without questioning your own.”
How often do we look in the mirror and criticise ourself? How often do we wonder whether we could have done a better job at the project we’ve just finished? How often do we berate ourselves when comparing ourselves to others on Instagram? How often do we wish we had her life, her job, her success?
Well, in my case. All of the above happens very often. Every time I pass the mirror, I almost ‘zoom’ in on the parts I dislike. And I’ll repeat negative words in my head. I’ll criticise my body. I’ll punish myself internally for eating a huge dinner last night. Usually the only time I really like what I see and/or don’t criticise myself is when I’m glamming up for a night out. Which in Grandma Scarlett world, isn’t very often.
And this is wrong. It’s so wrong. And recently I’ve realised the damage this could be doing to my mood and overall mental health. I should be complimenting myself and championing my body, flaws and all. Because it’s mine. And punishing yourself doesn’t make it turn into someone else’s body. So it’s really quite counter-productive if I’m totally honest.
So these past few weeks, I’ve tried to do the opposite. Every time I’ve looked into the mirror, I’ve complimented myself. Even if initially, I didn’t actually mean it. After passing myself after a gym session, with my messy, greasy hair in a bun, no make-up and my body tightly squeezed into gym kit that is probably a bit too small for me, I repeated:
“You look fab today!”
A few times over. I certainly didn’t feel fab. Nor did I probably look it. But rather than bringing my mood down for the evening ahead, I bounded downstairs to chat to my boyfriend after his first day on his new job. I felt happier. I felt in control and I felt… better.
Of course, there will be times where you’re not looking and feeling your best. But you’re YOU and you’re totally fab! Give yourself some credit and dish out those compliments as freely as possible!
“You completed that project and learnt something new along the way!”
You go, girl!
“You found a new dish that you love cooking and it tastes AMAZING!”
“You know how to pull off your jeans!”
And you look incredible!
Don’t be afraid to compliment yourself. You deserve it!
Food for thought: Being indestructible and all, I wonder if Wonder Woman has any trouble shaving her legs?
This post is a paid for advertorial in collaboration with Wilkinson Sword.
With moisturising Shea Butter, Wilkinson Sword Intuition Ultra Moisture (RRP £8.99) provides you with everything you need in one simple and convenient tool. It lathers and shaves in one step, without the need for shave gel, so simply add water * For women with sensitive skin, look no further than Wilkinson Sword Intuition Sensitive Care (RRP £8.99) with all-new pro vitamin B5 plus Aloe & Vitamin E
In stores now, the limited-edition lipsticks are FREE with any purchase of a Wilkinson Sword system handle, while stocks last.
Photography by David Mitchell